I just took possession yesterday of a new, 8-passenger limited. It does have the ESS option and it is absolutely something I would prefer not to have or at least prefer the ability to disable permanently. My wife doesn't like it either and she's a lot more tolerant of things like that. Is it mostly seamless? Yes. Is it (relatively) quick? Yes. However, even that slight amount of, call it "input lag", on resuming after the engine shuts off at a stop light, is extremely jarring to me. It's hard enough for a minivan drive to feel engaging, but then to add another layer of separation between the driver and the road just makes it worse.
Still looking for the trick to disable it. Foggy brain from Flu-recovery isn't helping.